


Falling Back In

by sochill



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: M/M, Rich gets married, after college AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-01 07:00:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21428356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sochill/pseuds/sochill
Summary: Rich invites the whole squip squad to his wedding. Jeremy hopes this will be his chance to reunite with his old friend.
Relationships: Jeremy Heere/Christine Canigula (Mentioned), Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell
Comments: 19
Kudos: 146





	1. Wedding Planning

“She said yes!” Rich burst through the door of he and Jeremy’s shared apartment and bear hugged his roommate.

“Congratulations man! I knew she would.” Jeremy laughed, stumbling slightly from the force of the hug but squeezing Rich tightly. “Now all you have to worry about is all the stress of planning a wedding.” He teased.

“I don’t even care.” Rich hadn’t stopped smiling. “I can’t believe she said yes. I’m getting married I can handle any amount of stress.”

“I’m so happy for you guys.” Jeremy smiled, squeezing Rich’s shoulder.

Rich and his girlfriend (now, fiancé), Coleen, had been dating for almost five years now. Rich was always convinced she’d find someone better so he doted on her like crazy. But Jeremy could tell she loved him just as much as he loved her. Rich had been planning to propose for a few months and had finally gotten up the nerve to do it.

And now, well now he was smiling eagerly as he grabbed Jeremy’s shoulders.

“Jer.”

“Yeah?”

“Will you be my co-best man?” Rich asked.

Jeremy nodded and hugged his friend again. He didn’t have to ask who the other best man was. Jake had had that spot locked down for years. Jeremy had sort of been expecting that Rich would ask him but he was surprised to feel a prickling behind his eyes anyway.

“I’m getting married!” Rich screamed as he raced down the hall. “I gotta call Jake!”

They picked a date and suddenly the boys’ apartment was overrun by piles of magazines, books, and two very stressed wedding planners. The bride to be had practically moved in with them with how often she was over in the following weeks. On top of all the wedding preparations, they were trying to secure their down payment for their house so they could finally live together. Jeremy was sad to see Rich go. They’d lived together for six years, including all throughout college. It would be strange not having Rich right down the hall, but he supposed it would be nice having the place to himself.

“Hey guys.” Jeremy walked in to see Rich and Coleen pouring over Rich’s laptop that looked to be open to a florist’s website. “Brought you your regulars.” He set a coffee in front of each of them.

Coleen tore her eyes away from the screen to smile at him. “Thanks Jeremy. You’re the best.”

Rich hummed in agreement and sipped his drink. Coleen excused herself to the bathroom and Jeremy took her place on the couch.

“What are you guys working on now?”

“Uhh,” Rich shuffled some papers around. “Flowers and guest list.”

“Oh!” Jeremy perked up. “Who are you inviting?”

“You know, family obviously, the guys from work, Coleen’s girlfriends, the whole gang from high school.”

Jeremy stopped. “The _whole_ gang?”

Rich smiled sadly at him. “I can’t promise he’ll come.”

“No I know.” Jeremy shook his head. “It’d probably be weird.” He paused. “But you are inviting him?”

“Of course I’m inviting him.”

“Jeremy, I love you but get out of my seat.” Coleen said as she walked back into the room.

“Right.” Jeremy hopped up from the couch and wandered back to his room. He flopped onto his bed.

The wedding was in two months. Which would make it approximately three years and five months since he’d last spoken to Michael. And now he’d probably see him at the wedding. Possibly, he corrected himself. Possibly see him. Actually, he probably wouldn’t. Michael wouldn’t want to go. It would be too weird.

Jeremy pulled his laptop over and skyped Christine. He prayed she’d answer and heaved a sigh of relief when her face filled the screen.

“Hey Jeremy!” She smiled.

“Hey Chris.”

“Everything okay?” She instantly caught on to his mood.

“Yeah. It’s just, uh Rich is getting married.”

“Oh that’s great!” Christine clapped. “Tell him congratulations for me!”

“I will.” Jeremy chewed his lip. Christine waited for him to continue. “He’s inviting the whole group from high school.”

“That’s awesome! It’ll be a reunion!” Her smile fell as she realized what Jeremy was saying. “Oh. You don’t think he’ll come.”

“I know he won’t.” Jeremy sighed.

“He might.” Christine tried to look hopeful.

Jeremy raised his eyebrows at her. “Would you go to your ex’s wedding?”


	2. RSVPs

“Of course I would. I’d be happy to go to your wedding.” Christine smiled.

“Well, that’s different. We broke up and stayed friends.” Jeremy shook his head. “Their breakup was… messier.”

“That’s true.” She agreed. “But maybe he’ll go just to see everyone. Besides, it’s been five years. I’m sure he’s not still upset about it.”

“I guess.”

“You know,” Christine started and Jeremy rolled his eyes. He knew exactly what she was going to say. “If you want to talk to him you could always just-”

“Call him.” He finished. He’d heard this speech a thousand times. “I know, Chris. You tell me that once a week.”

“And yet you never do it.” She shook her head. “I know you miss him. Rich knows you miss him. That’s why he invited him. Just call.”

“I have to go.”

“No you don’t liar.”

“Bye Chris. I’ll talk to you tomorrow!” He hung up before she could scold him more.

Christine and Jeremy had dated for two years. But then, Christine got into a study abroad program and Jeremy knew it was her dream to go. So, they broke up. They both knew they wouldn’t be able to handle long distance. It had hurt a lot for a while. But eventually, Jeremy found he was okay with it. He still adored Christine and they stayed close. He found her friendship was more than enough. It was around this time that Rich met Coleen. He practically had a nervous breakdown when he realized he had feelings for her. Feelings that rivaled the ones he had for Michael. Rich and Michael had been dating since the beginning of senior year, almost as long as Jeremy and Christine.

Rich cried on the floor of he and Jeremy’s dorm room about how he didn’t want to hurt Michael. He swore up and down that he loved Michael but refused to answer when Jeremy asked if he loved Coleen more.

Jeremy didn’t know what to do. On one hand, Michael had been his best friend since kindergarten and he’d be crushed to see Michael heartbroken. On the other hand, he didn’t talk to Michael very much anymore (something that only got worse after the breakup) and he knew that if Rich stayed with the wrong person it would only lead to a bigger and more painful break up later.

Rich drove down to Michael’s school the next day.

Michael and Jeremy talked briefly every few weeks, for nearly a year after that. Jeremy couldn’t remember who stopped texting first, but the next thing he knew, it had been months since they’d last spoken.

So all of the sudden, in his junior year of college, Jeremy found himself without a girlfriend, without his lifelong best friend, and losing his roommate to a girl he was rapidly falling for.

But things got better. He and Christine skyped nearly every day. Rich introduced Jeremy to Coleen and they hit it off wonderfully. They even got close enough to hang out without Rich around sometimes. Jeremy met her friends and made a few of his own. Things mellowed out and he didn’t feel so alone anymore.

But there were still times when he felt the emptiness. Every time he and Michael’s favorite game company released a new game. Every time a new movie came out that he knew Michael would love. Every time he heard one of Michael’s favorite songs or ran his finger over his tattoo. It hurt. He missed Michael terribly. There was a loneliness that no one could fill quite like Michael had. No one ever fit so easily into Jeremy’s life like Michael had. It was a friendship he longed to have again. But it had been months. What would he even say? And the longer he put it off the harder it became to think of a place to start. And while he was debating what to say, time flew by and all the sudden it had been a year, two years, three years. Three years and five months. How could he possibly call him now?

Rich knocked on Jeremy’s door and let himself in. Coleen had gone home, Jeremy heard the front door a few minutes ago.

Rich sat on the edge of Jeremy’s bed. “Sorry for springing the whole Michael thing on you.”

“It’s okay.” Jeremy sat up and hugged his knees. “I’m glad you’re inviting him. Even though he probably won’t come.”

“He might.” Rich said, but they both knew he wouldn’t.

“He might.” Jeremy said anyway.

Jeremy didn’t ask about RSVP’s until the day after the deadline. Then he took a breath and walked into Rich’s room. He knocked softly on the open door.

“Hey, what’s up?”

Jeremy didn’t respond. Rich looked up and realized what he wanted.

He let out a soft sigh. “He’s not coming Jer.”

Jeremy swallowed and nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

“No.” Jeremy fought to keep his voice level. “It’s fine. It was a long shot anyway.”

“The girls are all coming.”

Jeremy forced a smile. “That’s great.”

He _was_ happy they were coming. He couldn’t wait to see everyone again. But he knew it wouldn’t be the same without… everyone.


	3. The Big Day

Jake arrived two weeks before the wedding. He and Rich knew that Jeremy was more than a little devastated at Michael’s refusal to come, so they kept him busy with best man duties. Jeremy suspected that some of these were not actually necessary but he welcomed the distraction.

He went cake tasting with Rich, Jake, Coleen, and Coleen’s maid of honor, Jennifer.

Then, there was the bachelor party which Jake (who was known for his parties) _insisted_ he needed help with. The party itself turned out great. Jeremy drank and laughed and didn’t think about Michael all night.

After that, the wedding was only two days away. Rich had Jeremy picking people up from the airport, double checking seating arrangements, confirming the band, and even gave him the ever-important job of accompanying Jake to pick up the rings.

The day finally came and Rich was about to send Jeremy on another pointless errand when Jeremy stopped him.

“Rich. I’m okay. He’s not coming. It’s fine. This day is about you. I just want to relax and watch two of my best friends get married okay?”

Rich smiled. “Alright.”

“If there’s anything you _actually_ need, I’ll be happy to help.”

“I think I’m good for now.” Rich adjusted his collar. “I’m gonna go talk to the caterer and then finish getting ready. And then, I’m gonna get married!” He yelled.

Jeremy smiled as he watched Rich rush out of the room.

The next time they ran into each other Rich got a huge grin on his face the minute he caught sight of Jeremy.

“Jer!” He hurried over. “Do me a favor, go into the front room there and just make sure everyone gets in here. I think Brooke and Chloe are here so you should go say hi to them too.”

“Yeah sure.” Jeremy turned but Rich grabbed his arm.

“Wait.” He ran his hand through Jeremy’s hair a few times until he was happy with the result. “Okay. Go.” He winked.

Jeremy wasn’t sure what Rich was so giddy about. He walked into the other room and started motioning people into the room where the service would take place.

“Jeremy!” Brooke nearly tackled him in a hug the second he stepped into the room.

“Hey!” Jeremy hugged her back and then got a slightly less enthusiastic hug from Chloe.

“Long time.” Chloe smiled. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Uh, Jake is probably with Rich. I don’t think Chris is here yet and I think Jenna might be upstairs with Coleen.”

“And…” Brooke trailed off. She didn’t have to finish.

Jeremy shook his head.

“Oh. Well that’s okay.” She smiled. “It’s so good to see you! We’re gonna go find our seats.”

Chloe lingered for a second. “I’m sorry he’s not here.”

“It’s fine.” Jeremy shook his head.

“Nah, it’s not. I don’t know shit about relationships.” She shook her head. “But I know you two were supposed to be something.”

Jeremy shrugged. “Right person wrong time I guess.” He was surprised at how easily he admitted his feelings to Chloe.

“Yeah well, it’s pretty shit. Love sucks.” She looked around the room then suddenly she turned very quickly back to Jeremy with a hint of a smile. “But then again, there’s still time.”

“Huh?”

“See you in there!” Chloe waved and went to find Brooke.

Jeremy was left utterly confused. He hadn’t expected any sort of comfort from Chloe of all people. She was the one she talked to least. But then, maybe she’d done some growing up in the past few years. Still, he didn’t understand her sudden optimistic shift. He wondered what she’d seen that made her change her mind. He looked around the room.

The caterers were setting up along one wall. They were unloading kitchen equipment and plates and a ton of food. Jeremy suddenly froze where he was standing. One of the guys looked familiar. He turned to the side and Jeremy’s heart stopped. He looked older. He’d lost the glasses and his hair was shorter. But Jeremy would recognize that face anywhere.

“Michael?!” He hadn’t meant to yell it but yell he did.

Michael turned and for a moment Jeremy thought about bolting. But then Michael grinned, crossed the room, and enveloped him in a hug.

“Jeremy!”

“You’re… a caterer.” Jeremy said when they separated, because he wasn’t sure what else to say.

“No. Well, kinda.” Michael laughed. Jeremy hadn’t realized just how much he missed hearing that laugh. “My friend Leo runs this catering business. I’m just helping out. That’s actually why I said I couldn’t go to this. I promised him I’d help literally right before I got the invitation. I had no idea it was the same wedding. But then I got here and saw Rich and…” Michael seemed to realize he was rambling. He blushed slightly as he finished. “Well, I was hoping I’d run into you.”

Jeremy knew he was grinning like crazy but Michael was too so he didn’t particularly care. He opened his mouth to respond, though he didn’t know what he would’ve said, but Leo yelled across the room.

“Mike! You’re on the clock!”

“Right.” Michael shot a sheepish smile at Leo before turning back to Jeremy. “I gotta go. I’ll catch you later okay?”

“Okay.” Jeremy watched him go, feeling happier than he had in months. Michael was here. Michael wasn’t mad at him, in fact, Michael was _happy_ to see him.

“You better have gotten us an awesome wedding present.” Rich appeared at his side, making Jeremy jump. “Because I just gave you the best one.”

“You said he wasn’t coming!” Jeremy hit Rich’s arm.

“I didn’t know, honestly!” Rich swore, ducking out of Jeremy’s reach. “I literally just found out today.”

Jeremy stopped his attack.

“But if I had known,” Rich added as he started back toward his dressing room. “I wouldn’t have told you. Just to watch your jaw hit the floor again.”

Jeremy raced after Rich down the hall.

The ceremony was beautiful. Christine had arrived and the whole gang (sans Michael who snuck away from the kitchen and found and empty seat in the back) was seated together. Christine sniffled throughout the vows and Jeremy put his arm around her shoulder.

When the ceremony finally ended Rich yelled “DANCE PARTY!” and everyone shuffled into the other room for drinks and dancing.

Christine and Jeremy hung back, taking their time.

“One of those waiters looks awfully familiar.” Christine whispered as they found a small table in the back of the room.

“Shut up I know.” Jeremy tried to hide his smile.

“He looks like he wants to come over here.” She added. “I think I’ll go get a drink and catch up with Jake.” She slid off the stool and Jeremy watched her disappear into the mob of dancing people.

“Hey.” Michael dropped into her empty seat. “Need some company?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be working?” Jeremy cocked an eyebrow. The teasing and easy conversation came naturally with Michael, even after all this time.

“Does it look like anyone wants hors d’oeuvres right now?”

“Fair.” Jeremy conceded.

“Actually, I am supposed to be working.” Michael smiled at him for a minute. “Hey, would you maybe wanna get coffee tomorrow and catch up?”

“Yes.” Jeremy said instantly. “Absolutely.”

“Okay cool. I’ll text you tonight.” He hopped off the stool.

“You still have my number?”

“Uh,” Michael’s cheeks darkened. “Yeah. Unless you changed it.”

“I didn’t.” Jeremy smiled.

“Okay. Then uh, yeah. I’ll text you.” Michael walked off.

Jeremy spent the rest of the night dancing with Christine and Brooke and Jenna who all cheered when he told them of his coffee plans with Michael. Chloe was too busy chatting up a groomsmen to dance. He felt light as a feather. He hardly even felt the pain in his feet as he collapsed into his bed at the end of the night.


	4. Reconnecting

Jeremy woke up with his head only slightly throbbing, and his phone reporting two new messages from “Michael :D”.

**Michael :D: hey. Was gonna text you last night but I was exhausted lol**

**Michael :D: we still on for coffee?**

**Jeremy: yes! where were u thinking?**

**Michael :D: you pick n let’s meet at 1?**

Jeremy picked one of his favorite cafes. It was small and the coffee wasn’t the best. But they had huge squishy armchairs and it always smelled like cinnamon.

Jeremy tried not to fidget too much as he waited for Michael to arrive but he couldn’t help it. It was 1:10 and his brain wouldn’t stop suggesting that Michael might not show up at all. Finally, the door opened and Michael scanned the room until he spotted Jeremy.

He waved and then pointed to the counter. Jeremy nodded and waited until he finished ordering.

“Hey.” Michael slid into the seat across from him. “Sorry I’m a little late. Traffic sucked.”

“It’s fine it’s just a few minutes.” Jeremy waved him off like he hadn’t just been on the brink of a panic attack.

“So-” Michael was interrupted by the barista calling his name. He sighed and got up to retrieve his drink.

“So,” Michael tried again, settling into his seat. “How have you been? Where do you work? Tell me everything.” He looked so excited that Jeremy couldn’t help the smile that crept onto his face.

“Well, uh, I’ve been good. It was pretty crazy with all the wedding planning for a while but, good crazy. I’m working at Motech right now. It’s pretty cool, I get to work from home a lot.”

“No way! Motech?” Michael raised his eyebrows. “That’s so cool!”

“Yeah I guess.” Jeremy blushed. “What about you?”

“Oh I’m actually in school still.” Michael paused to take a drink. “I sort of took a few years off. And then I transferred schools and now I graduate in spring.”

“Wow. Michael that’s awesome.” Jeremy said. Michael smiled. “I thought about texting you.” Jeremy blurted before his brain figured out what he was doing. “All the time. I always hated that I didn’t reach out more after you and Rich broke up.” Jeremy dropped his gaze to his cup. “I thought you’d be mad.”

Michael shook his head but he was still smiling. “I was never mad. I wish we’d stayed in touch but I was okay after all that. I mean, the breakup, it was a long time coming. He seems really happy now.” There was no trace of malice in his voice, just genuine happiness for his friend.

“Yeah. I mean, Coleen’s great.”

“She seems great.” Michael nodded. “She came up and thanked me for coming even though it wasn’t really by choice. She said it meant a lot to Rich that I was there either way.”

“It did.”

“What about you?” Michael asked, his voice shifting to a little more of a lighthearted tone.

“What about me?” Jeremy sipped his coffee.

“Any special ladies or gents I should know about?” Michael wiggled his eyebrows. Jeremy laughed. It was like he was back in high school. Nothing had changed. Michael was still Michael. The empty feeling in his heart finally started to subside.

“No.” He shrugged. “Chris and I broke up sophomore year because she did a year abroad in Italy. And then another one in Germany. But we’re still friends. And then I dated this girl Karina for a few months but she broke up with me to get back with her ex.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah. And uh, I went on a few dates with this guy Mark, but neither of us were feeling it. That’s about it. What about you?”

“Well, no one currently but… you’re gonna laugh.” He shook his head.

“I won’t.” Jeremy promised. “Tell me.”

“Yes you will.” Michael sighed. “I went on three dates with Dustin Kropp.”

“Dustin? From high school?” Jeremy gaped.

“The very same.”

“I didn’t even know he was gay!” Jeremy laughed.

“Neither did he.” Michael grinned.

Their laughter died down and they sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, drinking their coffee and watching people through the window.

“I thought about texting you too.” Michael said finally. “It had just been so long; I didn’t even know where I’d start.”

“Yeah.” Jeremy nodded. He looked over at Michael. “Are you gonna be in town for a while?”

“Yeah. I’m actually living with Leo right now. He lives like 15 minutes from here. My school is pretty close to his house so.”

“Cool.” Jeremy hesitated. “Do you maybe wanna come over and have a few drinks with Rich and Coleen and me next Saturday? We’re celebrating him moving out once they get back from their honeymoon.”

“I would love that.” Michael smiled.

Jeremy got home riding the same high he’d been on since the wedding. He pulled out his laptop to skype Christine but she didn’t answer. Her Instagram suggested she was still out to lunch with Brooke, Jenna, and Chloe. He didn’t dare text Rich while he was on his honeymoon. So he texted the only person he could think of.

**Jeremy: I had fun today. It was really great to talk to you again.**

**Michael :D: me too! We should definitely do it again. Maybe we could get lunch this week?**

Jeremy grinned at his phone screen.

**Jeremy: yes! I’m free tuesday or wednesday **

**Michael :D: let’s do wednesday**

**Jeremy: cool**

Christine finally finished her girls’ day and called Jeremy back.

“Hey! How was your date? Tell me everything!” She said as soon as he answered.

“It wasn’t a date!” Jeremy blushed.

“Whatever. How was it?”

“It was really good. You know, it was just small talk mostly. About jobs and dating and stuff. But it was nice.” He looked at his hands so he wouldn’t have to see Christine’s face. “He said he thought about texting me all the time too.”

“Oh Jeremy!” She clapped her hands together. “That’s so amazing!”

As much as he didn’t want to gush like a middle schooler, he also kinda did. “I didn’t even tell you the best part Chris. He lives in the city! We’re getting lunch on Wednesday!”

“A second date!”

“It’s not a date, come on.” Jeremy ducked his head. “Besides, he’s Rich’s ex-boyfriend.”

“So?” Christine laughed. “Rich is married Jeremy. Plus, he knows how you two are. We both know he wouldn’t care. He’d be happy for you.”

“What do you mean ‘he knows how we are’?” Jeremy frowned.

“You know…” She trailed off. Jeremy raised his eyebrows. “You know, how you guys were always kinda into each other but never did anything about it because you didn’t want to risk losing each other?”

“What?” Jeremy gawked. “No we weren’t.”

Christine laughed. “You totally were!” She tried to look sincere but the laughter ruined it. “Even when you were dating me, I knew it. I’m sure Rich did too.”

“Hey! I _never_ thought about-”

“I know Jeremy.” She stopped laughing then. “I know you did love me. And I never for a second thought you’d cheat on me or dump me for him. I promise. I know you weren’t secretly in love with Michael while we were dating. But I also knew there was something between you. That if Rich and I weren’t there… if things had been a little different… you two would’ve been together.”

“We didn’t…” Jeremy trialed off. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say. They did. Michael had always been everything to him. And deep down he knew she was right. If it hadn’t been for Christine, Jeremy would’ve absolutely fallen for his best friend. And if it hadn’t been for Rich, maybe he would’ve done something about it.

“Jer?”

“Anyway,” Jeremy snapped back to the present. “The point is, we’re just friends right now okay? We’re still figuring this out. I don’t want to screw anything up I just, want us to be friends again.”

“I understand.” Christine smiled. “I’m really happy he’s back in your life.”

“Me too.”


	5. A Lunch Date

Wednesday afternoon seemed to come too soon and not soon enough at the same time. One minute, Jeremy was begging Monday to end and then he blinked and it was 11:30 on Wednesday.

The diner he picked was one he and Rich had gone to on countless occasions while pulling all-nighters to study for tests in college. It was a little nicer than a fast food place, but not nice enough that you’d take a date there. The perfect balance for reconnecting with an old friend.

This time, when Jeremy arrived Michael was already seated. Which was only strange because Jeremy usually arrived places at least 10 minutes before he was supposed to.

“You’re early.” He commented.

“Yeah, I’ve never been here before so I didn’t want to be late. Again.” Michael laughed.

They ordered and talked a little about old times. It was a safe topic: the fun times they had in high school. But the more stories they reminisced about, the more it began to feel like they were edging around the sudden end to their friendship.

They fell into silence as their food arrived. Jeremy took this opportunity to change the subject.

“So, how’s school out here?” He asked.

“It’s really good. I like the campus a lot better than my old school.”

“Hm. And no potential dates?” Jeremy teased.

“Nah.” Michael laughed. “God remember when I had the biggest crush on you in high school?”

Jeremy choked on his water. “_What_?”

“Yeah. I thought you knew?” Michael watched him mop up his water spill with an amused smile.

“I literally never thought that… at all.” Jeremy refused to meet Michael’s eye.

“Huh. I totally thought you did. I spent two years being obvious as hell about it.” Michael shrugged.

Jeremy’s heart felt like it was either beating too fast or not at all, he couldn’t tell. Two years. “When did you stop?” He finally managed to ask.

“Hmm. I think like a little after you and Christine started seriously dating. Before I got with Rich obviously.”

“Wait. So,” Jeremy did some quick mental math. “You liked me sophomore year?”

“Yep.” Michael poked at his food.

“I… liked _you_ sophomore year.” Jeremy whispered, kind of hoping Michael wouldn’t hear. But if the rate at which he snapped his head up was any indicator, he definitely heard.

“No way.”

Jeremy nodded. Michael laughed quietly.

“How could we both be so oblivious?” He shook his head.

“No idea.” Jeremy leaned back against the booth.

Michael shook his head again, slathering ketchup all over his fries. It was gross, and yet, the familiarity of it made Jeremy smile. But it was still gross. He wrinkled his nose.

“What?” Michael asked.

“I forgot you did that.” He nodded to the ketchup covered abomination on Michael’s plate.

Michael glanced down. “What? Eat fries correctly?” He smirked.

“That is _definitely_ not the correct way to eat fries.”

“Oh and that is?” He pointed at Jeremy’s own plate.

“Yes.” Jeremy dipped a fry in his puddle of ranch and shoved it in his mouth.

Michael laughed and shook his head. He watched Jeremy for a minute and Jeremy felt himself blushing. Half wishing Michael would look away and half wishing he wouldn’t.

“When does Rich come home?” Michael asked finally.

“Friday.” Jeremy swirled his straw in his drink. “But he’ll probably sleep at Coleen’s and come home Saturday.”

Michael nodded. “He won’t… mind me coming over right?”

“No. Of course not.” Jeremy assured him. His heart sank a little. Five years later and Michael still wasn’t quite over Rich. “Why would he mind?”

“I don’t know.” He stared at his food. “I’m having a lot of fun hanging out with you again. I just don’t want it to be weird and make Rich uncomfortable and then…”

“And then…?”

“Then we stop hanging out… again.”

The disappointment from before vanished as Jeremy looked up. Michael was still staring at his plate.

“Michael.” He waited until Michael met his eyes. “Rich wanted to see you. He wanted us to talk. And besides, we’re adults now. I’m allowed to talk to people even if Rich doesn’t get along with them. We’re not gonna stop hanging out.”

Michael smiled. “Alright.” He took a bite and then eyed Jeremy suspiciously. “You did tell him I’m coming though, right?”

“Um,” Jeremy shoved three fries in his mouth. “I’mgmphtum.”

“Sorry, what was that?” Michael stared at him. It was a look Jeremy was familiar with. One eyebrow raised, half a smirk on his lips. A half teasing half serious look. One Jeremy used to be regularly on the receiving end of when Michael was trying to get him to admit something. It made something flutter in Jeremy’s stomach.

Jeremy swallowed his food. “I’m… going… to tell him… when he gets home.”

“Jeremy!” Michael kicked him lightly under the table. “You can’t spring that on him the day of!”

“It’ll be fine!” Jeremy insisted. “He won’t mind.”

“Jeremy.”

“I didn’t want to text him while he was on his honeymoon.”

“Well you’re gonna!”

“Okay!” Jeremy sighed and leaned back against the booth. “I’ll text him tonight.”

“You better.” Michael pointed his fork at Jeremy. “And then call me and tell me what he says.”

“You want me to call you?” Jeremy’s eyes widened.

The tips of Michael’s ears turned red. “Or text or whatever.”

Jeremy smiled.

**Jeremy: heyy I know ur honeymooning so feel free to ignore this just wanted to ask if it would be cool w you guys if Michael came over for drinks saturday. If not it’s totally cool dw. Hope you’re having fun <3**

**Rich: I am having a great time. Also yes! please bring him! We didn’t get to talk much at the wedding! **

**Jeremy: okay awesome! **

**Rich: so I guess your coffee date went well... ;)**

**Jeremy: it did**

**Jeremy: so did lunch today...**

**Rich: you met up again? **

**Jeremy: we did**

**Rich: yes! I’m so glad you’re talking again. Let’s talk when I get home. See you soon!**

**Jeremy: okay! Enjoy your last day of honeymooning!! :)**

Jeremy considered calling Michael. He sat staring at the contact for nearly three minutes before he gave up and texted him instead.

**Jeremy: hey rich said they’re totally cool with you coming. He said he’s pumped since he didn’t really get to talk to you much at the wedding.**

**Michael: okay great! I’ll be there then :)**

**Jeremy: awesome.**

**Michael: text me the address whenever you want me to head over**

**Jeremy: will do**


	6. Overwhelmed

Rich got home late Friday night.

“Jeremy!” He called as he walked in.

“Hey!” Jeremy poked his head out of the kitchen. “Thought you weren’t coming home till tomorrow.”

“Coleen had plans with the girls tonight so I just came home.” He looked way too happy for someone who had just spent the last six hours on a plane.

“How was it?”

“It was awesome dude.” Rich collapsed onto the couch and began telling Jeremy about his trip. Jeremy finished making his midnight snack and then joined Rich on the couch.

They stayed up until the sun peaked through the blinds. Once Rich finished talking about his trip he asked about Michael (Jeremy told him everything except the part where Michael admitted to liking him in high school, that would only spur Rich’s weird teasing on). And then they started talking about anything that popped into their heads. It reminded Jeremy of the late nights in college. He felt a twinge in his heart at the realization that this would probably be the last night like this that he’d share with Rich.

When Jeremy woke up it was almost 2 pm. He rolled out of bed and made his way into the kitchen. Coleen was perched at the breakfast bar. Fully dressed and eating chips from their cupboard.

“Morning sleepy head.” She laughed when she saw Jeremy’s rumpled pajamas and wild hair. “Rich said you guys had a late night. Wasn’t sure you were gonna wake up at all. But I guess you have to if you want to see Michael.” She teased.

“Haha.” Jeremy deadpanned.

Coleen knew about Michael, sort of. She knew the history between him and Rich and him and Jeremy. She knew that Michael was a sensitive topic for Jeremy, or he had been for the past three and a half years. What she didn’t know (which apparently everyone they went to high school with _did_ know) was the… something that was between Michael and Jeremy. Rich didn’t tell her, of course not. It was sort of an awkward subject to bring up to your girlfriend, the unspoken pining between your best friend and your ex-boyfriend.

“What time is he coming?” She asked.

“I don’t know.” Jeremy stuck his hand into her bag of chips. “What time are we drinking?”

Coleen motioned to the couch where Rich was sitting, nursing a beer as he watched TV. “We already are.”

“Of course.” Jeremy laughed. “Alright. Then I guess I’ll shower and text him after.”

“Sounds good.” Coleen picked up the chips and went to join her husband on the couch.

Jeremy showered longer than usual. He spent a little too long picking out an outfit. These were things no one would really notice. Unless, of course, the person had been living with Jeremy for the past six years.

“Hey Jer.” Rich was smirking as Jeremy walked into the kitchen. “Been getting ready for a while.”

“Not really.” Jeremy feigned confusion as he opened the fridge.

“Yes really. Trying to make sure you look extra good for-”

“Shut up.” Jeremy cut him off and popped the cap off of his beer.

His plan was to be a little tipsy by the time Michael got there. That way, any awkwardness that he was sure would arise would be easier to deal with.

By some miracle, there was no awkwardness to be found. Michael came over, greeted everyone and then fell into easy conversation with Rich. There was no tension between them, no jealous eye rolls from Coleen. Everyone laughed and drank and talked.

Unfortunately, Michael was a touchy drunk and it wasn’t long before Coleen was smirking at Jeremy over her glass.

Michael currently had his arm draped over Jeremy’s shoulders. Jeremy didn’t remember how long it had been there but he was glad it was. Partly because it was stopping him from swaying and partly because… well because of the exact reason his two friends were giving him not so subtle winks.

“Hey, do you remember,” Michael said suddenly. “That time we all went to the beach? And then Christine’s car broke down and we got stuck there all night.” He giggled. He was definitely past tipsy by now. Jeremy wasn’t quite as drunk but he was drunk enough to not be able to stop himself from openly staring at Michael as he laughed.

“Yes!” Rich laughed. “And Jake dared me to go in the water again.”

“And you did it!” Michael nearly yelled through his laughter.

“And your clothes were soaked all night.” Jeremy snorted. “I thought you were gonna get pneumonia. You were so dumb.”

“Yeah.” Rich smiled, lazily.

“Man, senior year was kind of the best.” Michael said. “All those all-nighters playing Apocalypse of the Damned, _those_ were the best, huh Jer?”

Jeremy’s brain short circuited and he found himself unable to speak. Jer. Michael hadn’t called him that in years. He’d stopped using that nickname even before they’d stopped talking. In fact, Jeremy didn’t think he’d heard Michael call him Jer since their senior year. The sound of it now, falling out of Michael’s mouth with such a soft expression to match, was overwhelming. His heart felt like it was somersaulting through his chest.

“Yeah.” He managed to choke out.

“You okay?” Michael cocked his head, leaning towards Jeremy a tiny bit. Jeremy could smell the alcohol on his breath and see the slight flush of his cheeks. It was all too much for Jeremy to handle at the moment. He stepped out of Michael’s reach.

“Yeah I’m good. I think I just need some water.” He stumbled only slightly on his way over to the sink and filled a glass with water, chugging half of it before stopping to breathe.

Michael and Rich got to talking about some band they had both loved in high school and Coleen pulled Jeremy aside.

“I’ve heard a lot about Michael from the two of you over the years.” She said. She hardly seemed to be drunk at all even though Jeremy was pretty sure she was two drinks further than him. The girl could handle her alcohol. “But you both somehow failed to mention that you have a crush on him.”

Jeremy groaned. “I _don’t_.”

“Yeah.” Coleen snorted. “Okay.”

Jeremy dropped his head onto her shoulder. “Is it that obvious?” He whispered.

“Absolutely.” She patted his head. “But lucky for you, I think he’s way too hammered to notice.”

Michael _was_ leaning pretty heavily on the counter at the moment. Rich was even drunker but he didn’t lean on any furniture. Instead, he opted to just sway violently while he talked.

“Jeremy would _never_ admit it,” Rich said loudly. Jeremy didn’t like the sound of that. He staggered his way over to the boys. “But he missed you _sooo-_”

“Okay Rich.” Jeremy took Rich’s glass out of his hand. “I think you’re done.”

“Nooo.” Rich whined.

“Coleen!” Jeremy called. “Come get your husband and take him to bed.”

At that Rich smiled widely. “Yes! Mrs. Goranski! My wife!”

Coleen laughed and kissed Rich on the cheek. “Come on babe, let’s go to bed.”

“Oh.” Rich wiggled his eyebrows. Coleen just laughed again and hauled Rich down the hall.

“Goodnight you two!” She called before shutting their bedroom door.

“I guess that’s my cue to go.” Michael set down his drink.

“You don’t have to.” Jeremy said. He gestured to the couch. “I mean, I think we should probably- no, definitely stop drinking but we can just… talk. Or whatever… if you want.”

Michael looked at him for a minute before smiling and nodding.

They dropped onto the couch and Jeremy’s drunk brain scrambled for something to say.

“So,” Michael beat him to it. “You missed me _soooo_ much huh?”

“Rich was just… being obnoxious.” Jeremy shook his head. Michael looked slightly hurt. Jeremy kicked himself. “I mean yes, I did miss you. A lot.”

Michael smiled at that. “I missed you too.”

Jeremy didn’t ask why Michael never called. He knew he couldn’t answer the same question.

They stayed up and talked for nearly two hours. Taking turns coming up with one last thing to say before Michael left.

Finally though, they were both yawning and Jeremy knew asking Michael to sleep over would be too much. So he walked him to his uber and hugged him one last time before Michael waved and got into the car.

Jeremy was about to fall asleep when his phone lit up.

**Michael :D: I’m home my uber didn’t murder me**

**Jeremy: that’s good I’m glad lol**

**Michael :D: goodnight jer**

**Jeremy: night michael**


	7. Moving Out

One of the most infuriating things about Richard Goranski was his ability to drink until he couldn’t stand and still not get a hangover. So as much as Jeremy loved him, he was seriously considering murdering him when he banged on Jeremy’s door at 8:30 am and told him to help them move Rich out.

“Can’t you and Coleen handle it?” He mumbled into his pillow after Rich finally opened the door and shook Jeremy awake.

“No. And you promised you’d help.”

“Ug!” Jeremy said. “Five minutes.”

“Okay but if you don’t get up, I’m coming back with a speaker and blasting music.”

Jeremy forced himself out of bed, took two advils, and chugged an entire bottle of water. Then he got dressed and walked down the hall. All the boxes from Rich’s room had been dragged into the living room. Rich was gone and Coleen was taping a box shut.

“Hey hun.” Coleen smiled as he came in. “Sorry to wake you. But we have to have everything packed up in time so we can get the moving truck returned on time.”

“It’s okay.” Jeremy stretched and then picked up a box.

The moving truck was parked in the alley behind their apartment. Rich was working with a large man in a Uhaul shirt to position his bed frame in the truck. Jeremy waited until they were done before stacking his box in as well.

They passed Coleen going out on their way back to the room.

“So you and Michael finally make out last night?”

“What?” Jeremy stumbled on the stairs. “No!”

“Why not?”

“Because!” Jeremy’s face burned. “We’re just friends.”

“Oh please, you’re so into each other. It’s even worse than in high school and that’s saying something.”

“We’re not!” Jeremy insisted. “I don’t see Michael that way.”

Rich snorted. “You practically melted when he called you Jer.”

“Did not.” Jeremy threw open the door and busied himself with another box so Rich wouldn’t see his blush.

“Did too.”

“It just caught me off guard to hear it, okay? It’s been a while.”

“I call you that all the time!”

“Yeah but hearing it from Michael is d-” Jeremy stopped himself.

“Is different.” Rich finished for him. “Because you like him. So do something about it.”

“No.”

“Oh my god.” Rich groaned. “Why not?”

“Because, he was my best friend, we haven’t talked in years, _and_ he’s my best friend and roommate’s ex.”

“He’s your best friend who you were in love with, you haven’t talked in years because you were both too chicken shit to say anything, _and_,” Rich mocked. “I don’t give a shit dude! Go for it, I’m married! I want you to be happy. Both of you. And if it’s not together that’s fine. But if it is, don’t let me and Michael’s past stop you. I promise you; it won’t bother me. In fact, it’ll make my life a lot easier because I won’t have to deal with you moping all the time.”

Jeremy glared at him. Rich smiled.

“You don’t have to be scared.” Rich said softly. “He feels the same way. I can see it.”

With that, he picked up two boxes and walked out. Jeremy was left alone in the apartment.

After a long day of sweating and climbing stairs, they finished moving everything into Rich’s brand new living room and then everyone showered so they’d be a little less disgusting when they went out to dinner to celebrate. They ate and talked and everything was great. And then, the night ended and they parted ways.

It felt strange to Jeremy, coming home alone, to find the apartment empty. Not that he’d never been alone in it before. But this was a different emptiness. A permanent emptiness.


	8. Housewarming

He got lunch with Michael two weeks after Rich moved out.

“How’s living alone?” Michael asked, taking a huge bite. Jeremy absentmindedly handed him a napkin.

“It’s okay. I mean, it’s cool you know? I guess I just miss Rich a little.” Jeremy laughed. “Never really thought I’d say that.”

“You guys hung out since he moved?”

Jeremy shook his head. “He’s been pretty busy. I’m gonna go over once they get settled for a sort of house warming thing. He says you’re welcome to come.”

“If I’m still here.” Michael mumbled.

“What?”

“Leo’s asking his girlfriend to move in.” Michael sighed. “He’s kicking me out in a month. And there’s like nowhere out here to rent that I can even remotely afford. I might have to move back home after I graduate.”

“No!” Jeremy said suddenly. Michael raised his eyebrows. “Um, I mean.”

What did he mean? What could he say? No don’t leave because I’m falling in love with you all over again and I can’t stand to lose you again? Ha.

“Um,” He said again. “I just… that would suck.” He finished lamely.

Michael smiled. “Yeah it would. But what can I do you know?” He reached for his drink.

“Live with me.” Jeremy blurted.

Michael cocked an eyebrow. “What?”

“Yeah.” He decided to run with it. “I mean I have an extra room now and it would be nice to have someone help with rent again. Plus you can stay out here and not have to find a crazy roommate on craigslist.”

“Are you serious?” Michael looked at him with wide eyes.

“Yeah. I mean, we always planned to live together one day, right?”

“Yeah.” Michael nodded. He thought for a minute. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll move in with you.”

Jeremy smiled; relief washed over him. Michael wasn’t going anywhere. Instead he’d be getting closer. Michael grinned and Jeremy’s heart pounded. He suddenly wondered if Michael getting closer was a good idea.

They planned to move him in over the weekend. Jeremy couldn’t stop pacing when the day arrived, waiting for Michael to show up. To move in.

Finally, there was a knock at the door and Jeremy swung it open to reveal a smiling Michael carrying a box under one arm and a plant under the other.

“Here.” He handed the plant to Jeremy. “A housewarming gift.”

“Aren’t I supposed to be getting _you_ something. Since you’re the one moving in?”

“Good point. Where’s my house warming gift?” He set the box down and crossed his arms.

“I already paid rent this month. There’s your gift.”

“Good enough. Come on. Help me bring the rest inside.”

Michael didn’t have all that much stuff. He hadn’t brought any of his furniture because they were planning to use Leo’s truck to drive it over tomorrow. So really, there were just a bunch of boxes.

“Think we’ll get sick of each other?” Michael asked as they grabbed the last few boxes.

“Rich and I never did.” Jeremy shrugged. “But then again Rich and I didn’t stop talking for three years either.”

It was supposed to be a joke but Jeremy could tell it didn’t land. There was suddenly a tense air between then as they climbed the stairs.

“Yeah we’ll _have_ to talk to each other now.” It sounded like it was supposed to be funny but Michael’s laugh sounded bitter. Jeremy unlocked the door.

“Yeah you won’t be able to ignore me.” Jeremy didn’t know why he kept going with this joke that was clearly making them both uncomfortable.

“You’re the one who cut _me_ off!” Michael said, suddenly a lot more hostile than he had been a second ago.

“I thought you said you didn’t care!” Jeremy snapped.

“I said I wasn’t mad!” Michael slammed his box onto the counter. Jeremy realized they were having a real fight right now. “Of course I fucking cared! You were my best friend!”

Jeremy felt his own anger rise. Michael was not going to pin this on him. “Well you could’ve called too you know! Instead of letting your ‘best friend’ drift!”

“Oh, screw you Jeremy!” Michael yelled.

“How is this my fault?” Jeremy yelled back.

“No you’re right. Nothing is ever your fault is it?” Michael grabbed his keys off the table. Jeremy didn’t want Michael to leave. He wanted to stop yelling. But he couldn’t help it.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Michael clenched his fists and Jeremy waited for him to start screaming. Instead he shook his head. “I _knew_ this was a bad idea.” He turned around and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

Jeremy sank onto the couch, staring at the boxes surrounding him. He was once again left alone in the apartment. Only this time it felt much worse.


	9. Placing Blame

The next morning Jeremy awoke to a soft knocking on the door. He pulled it open to see Michael, staring at his shoes.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Jeremy pulled the door open and waved him in.

“That was… stupid.” Michael said after a brief silence. “I’m sorry.”

“Thanks.”

“Anything you’d like to say?” Michael raised his eyebrows.

Jeremy was about so say something snarky but he took a deep breath instead. “I’m sorry too. It’s just… you don’t have to blame me for everything.”

“Jeremy, I don’t blame you for everything.” Michael sighed. “But when we stopped talking it _was_ your fault.”

Jeremy whipped around. “It was not.”

“It wasn’t _my_ fault.”

“It _was_ your fault!” Jeremy felt all the anger come rushing back. “It was totally your fault!”

“It wasn’t!” Michael yelled. “It wasn’t my fault that we stopped talking and it wasn’t my fault that you replaced me with Rich!”

Jeremy stopped mid step. That threw him off. “I didn’t replace you. I couldn’t ever replace you Michael!” His voice cracked but he kept going. “It’s been six fucking years and I never found anyone who even comes _close_ to you!” He felt the familiar stinging behind his eyes. Michael’s face was stony.

“Then why did you stop calling?”

“I…” Jeremy faltered. “I don’t know.”

“This isn’t going to work.” Michael said quietly. “I’ll come get my stuff later.” He left. He didn’t slam the door this time but the sound of it still made Jeremy flinch. He felt the tears finally roll down his cheeks.

Michael was gone. Again. Jeremy collapsed onto the couch and let himself cry for an hour. Then he texted Rich.

**Jeremy: he’s not moving in. we kept fighting about everything that happened before and now he doesn’t want to be around me. What do I do?**

**Rich: stop being an idiot.**

**Jeremy: im serious**

**Rich: so am i. why are you letting the past get between you? you both fucked up and did dumb shit. Now you’re grown up. Apologize, hug, make up, make out. I don’t care. just get over it. Unless you’d rather just let him go again.**

Jeremy stood up. Rich was right. He had a choice to make. He stood up, wiped his eyes, and started dragging Michael’s boxes across the floor.


	10. Resolutions

It was well into the evening before Michael came back. He didn’t greet Jeremy as he stormed into the apartment.

“Um.” His eyes scanned the boxless living room. “Where the hell is my-”

“It was stupid.” Jeremy started. “The fight was stupid. We’re stupid.”

Michael sighed. “Jeremy.”

“I’m sorry I let us drift. I’m sorry I made you feel like you weren’t important. You were back then and you are now. You always have been important to me. I don’t want to make the same mistake and lose you again. Stay. Please?” Jeremy fought to keep his voice level the whole time.

Michael didn’t respond for a second and Jeremy’s heart sunk.

“Okay.”

Jeremy looked up. “Okay?”

“Okay.” Michael smiled. “I’ll stay.”

Jeremy threw his arms around Michael’s neck. Michael laughed and squeezed Jeremy.

“I’m sorry I’m an idiot.” He mumbled into Michael’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry you’re an idiot too.” Michael grinned as he stepped back. “And I’m sorry I’m an idiot also.”

They decided to say screw unpacking and have a movie night instead. Michael insisted he’d be fine sleeping on the couch for one night. The settled in and got comfortable. Jeremy’s feet were tucked underneath him and Michael’s rested on the coffee table.

They watched in comfortable silence for a while. But Jeremy couldn’t shake the question scratching at the back of his head.

“You really thought I replaced you with Rich?”

Michael glanced over. “I don’t know. Yes.”

“I didn’t. We got close yeah. He became one of my best friends. But not instead of you. No one could’ve ever reached that.” He paused. “You stopped calling too.” He added quietly.

Michael turned away from the TV to face Jeremy fully. “I know. I’m sorry. I just figured you didn’t need me anymore so… you know. If you did, then you would’ve called. Hypocritical I know.”

“I always needed you.” Jeremy said. Michael’s arm was stretched along the back of the couch and Jeremy had to resist the urge to lean into it. “I thought you just didn’t care about me anymore. And that you didn’t want to see me because I was friends with Rich.”

“Of course I cared.” Michael moved slightly closer. “And of course I wanted to see you. I thought about you all the time. Even when we hadn’t spoken in years.”

“I thought about you too.” Jeremy watched Michael’s eyes flick down to his lips.

“Yeah?” Michael whispered.

“Yeah.” Jeremy leaned forward and kissed Michael like he wished he could’ve for six years. Michael wasted no time pulling him closer and tangling his hands through Jeremy’s hair. It was nothing like he’d imagined and somehow, still everything he’d dreamed of. They pulled away, panting slightly.

“Maybe you don’t have to sleep on the couch tonight.” Jeremy said softly.

Michael grinned. “Maybe not.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


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